Book Review: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay
As a couples therapist, I’m often asked to help individuals and couples understand whether staying in a relationship is right for them, and it’s a question that carries immense emotional weight. Mira Kirshenbaum’s Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay is a powerful resource for anyone feeling conflicted about the future of their relationship. The book skillfully guides readers through a series of practical, introspective questions to help them explore their own experiences, needs, and desires in a way that fosters genuine self-reflection and clarity.
Kirshenbaum’s approach is insightful and non-prescriptive, which I appreciate deeply as a therapist. Instead of offering direct advice on whether a relationship should end, she empowers readers to assess their relationship based on their own unique feelings and circumstances. This aligns well with my philosophy as a couples therapist—my goal is never to decide for someone whether they should leave a relationship but rather to help them reach their own informed decision with confidence and self-assurance.
The book’s strength lies in its structured approach. Kirshenbaum provides thought-provoking questions and scenarios that invite readers to delve into often-overlooked aspects of their relationship. She covers topics from emotional fulfillment and conflict resolution to respect, love, and trust, all with a compassionate tone that acknowledges the complexities of love and partnership.
While Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay can be immensely helpful, I encourage readers to use it as one part of a larger decision-making process. It can be an excellent starting point for clarifying feelings, but working through these insights with a therapist can add a supportive and objective perspective, especially if emotional or practical complexities make the decision feel overwhelming.
For anyone at a relationship crossroads, this book offers a meaningful, structured way to examine their feelings. It invites self-compassion and thoughtful reflection, helping readers gain the insight they need to move forward—whatever that may mean for them. If you’re feeling uncertain, this resource may provide the clarity you’ve been searching for.