Setting Goals Together: Strengthening Your Relationship in the New Year

Closeup of a couple holding hands | Kathleen Killen Psychotherapy and Coaching

As a registered psychotherapist (qualifying) who specializes in relationships, I've observed the transformative power of setting shared goals. The new year provides an excellent opportunity for couples to align their aspirations and work towards common objectives. Let's dive into how setting goals together can strengthen your relationship and practical ways to approach this journey.

Understanding the Importance of Shared Goals

Shared goals are a compass for your relationship, guiding you toward a common future. They foster teamwork, improve communication, and create a sense of unity. When you work towards something together, it strengthens your bond and provides a shared sense of achievement.

How to Set Goals Together

  1. Start by having an honest conversation about what each of you wants to achieve in the coming year. It's essential to listen actively and respect each other's aspirations. These aspirations may not be the same, and that’s okay! Your partner is their own person and should have their own desires and dreams.

  2. Even though your individual goals might be different, identify areas where your goals overlap or complement each other. These commonalities are the foundation for your shared objectives.

  3. Be specific and realistic with your goals. Vague goals are hard to achieve, so it’s important that you can measure success and also add a timeline to keep you moving towards your goals.

  4. Documenting your goals can make them feel more tangible. When you are creating goals as a couple, write them down and keep them in a place where both of you can see them regularly.

  5. Break down each goal into smaller, manageable steps and then decide how you will tackle these steps together.

  6. Developing goals doesn’t mean that you set them and forget them. Schedule regular times to review your progress with your partner. These check-ins are crucial for staying on track and making adjustments as needed.

  7. Ensure you acknowledge and celebrate when you reach milestones towards your goals. This reinforces positive feelings about your partnership and the goals you're achieving together.

Incorporating Individual Goals

While focusing on shared goals, don't neglect individual aspirations. Support each other in personal goals, as this also contributes to a healthy relationship dynamic.

Challenges Are Opportunities

Remember, challenges in this process are not failures but opportunities for growth. They can lead to deeper understanding and stronger bonds.

Setting and achieving goals together can be a fulfilling aspect of your relationship. It's about more than just the objectives themselves; it's about the journey you embark on together, the challenges you overcome, and the growth you experience as a couple.

If you're looking to strengthen your relationship this year by setting and achieving goals together, don't hesitate to reach out. Booking an appointment can be your first step towards a revitalized partnership in the new year. Let's work together to make your relationship the best it can be.


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Shifting from Complaint to Request: A Relationship Game-changer

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Bearing the Mental Load: Strategies for Couples from 'Fair Play' by Eve Rodsky